Frank T. "Grandfather" Paolino

Mr. Frank T. "Grandfather" Paolino, a resident of Peabody, and formerly of Melrose, passed away peacefully at Mass General Hospital on Thursday, Feb. 3, 2022, at age 91.

Frank was the husband of the late Elaine R. (Musto) Paolino with whom he shared 47 years of marriage. Loving partner of Virginia "Ginny" Varney of Peabody. Father of Steven Paolino of San Diego, CA, Frank Paolino Jr. and his wife Allison of Santa Barbara, CA, and the late Peter Paolino. Brother of the late Louise Gilbert of Malden. Grandfather of Frank III, Dominic, Sophie, Isabelle, Benjamin, and Jason. Great-grandfather of Hannah, Brandon, Parker and Griffin.

Frank was a US Marine Veteran, the founder and president of Frank T. Paolino Construction, and a 50-year member and past President of the Melrose Rotary Club.

***SERVICE UPDATE***

Relatives and friends are invited to a Celebration of Life and Reception for Frank T. Paolino at the Melrose Knights of Columbus, 23 W. Foster St., Melrose on Saturday, June 18, 2022 at 2pm – 4pm. Please RSVP to Allison and Frank Paolino, 617-930-7935 or [email protected]

As Frank was always generous and donated to many charities, the family asks that in lieu of flowers a donation be made to the charity of your choice.

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Eulogy of Grandfather by Frank Paolino (Son)-

We lost my dad this week, so it is a time for reflection when it's your own dad.My dad taught me many things, like most dads do. We all only know one dad, so this is my memory.

He taught by example, not by long lectures.I saw him work hard, so I learned how to work hard. Carrying bricks for Gray's appliance in Melrose at age 16 (10,000 of them) was "character building". No work was as hard as that.
Now, as I work writing software, it seems easy by comparison.

He taught me to be careful with money, which is harder to earn than to spend, by being thrifty. As a third son, I rarely owned anything new, but he said it builds character. And, as the only lefty (besides my mother) the only hand me down golf clubs were righty, so I gollfed righty then and I do now.I don't feel that this was a hardship, and opposite hand golfers do drive longer balls.

He also was curious. He never said "be curious" like Richard Feynman, he just was curious. Our family Sunday drives always were to places we could explore and learn from. Right in our backyard, we visited the Saugus Ironworks, the first iron works in the U.S.powered by a waterwheel, which was started and stopped by the ironsmiths.My curiosity got the better of me, and I saw a long, wooden handle next to the fireplace. I gave it a pull, and heard the appreciative "oohs and ahhhs" from the tour as the water wheel started in motion. Everyone was delighted, except the tour guide, who reprimanded me. My father looked at me with approbation, sort of like "good for you to find the handle to start the wheel turning".So this was another form of building character, but over the years it turns into just being a character. My dad was both, a man of character and a character in the funny sense of the word, all at the same time. And there is no conflict between the two types of characters.

My dad was a provocateur, but I didn't know it then. But I know it now, and it rubbed off on me, another lesson learned by exposure,not talking.

I remember going into a store with him to buy a shovel.We went to the register, witha high school classmate of mine at the register. He paid for the shovel, and asked her to put it in a bag. She was nonplussed, and said I don't have any bag for that. His response was " you're not expecting me to carry this NAKED shovel to the parking lot, are you?" Well that caused her to try to fashion some sort of covering to the naked shovel.

I think he stirred things up because he, like me and now my kids, hate boredom. It's the enemy. If conversation gets dull, he stirs it up to make it interesting. That's how he got his name Grandfather. After we moved into a nice home in Acton, my dad, upon seeing it, said this is a beautiful home, and befitting this home I am no longer "papa", but Grandfather". And it's been his name for about 30 years.

He didn't say family should stay together, but he did call each of my kids every week to talk.What did he say? I am sure it was to find out what they were up to and encourage them to pursue it vigorously. One of his favorite sayings was "whatever you do, do it well".It's simple and complicated at the same time, like a Zen Koan that becomes richer the more you think about the deeper meaning.

He adores his 6 grandkids (and his 4 great-grandkids). You don't need life lessons for that, our mortality makes us appreciate successive generations. His biggest fear was that I would spoil his grandkids, and he made sure to watch for signs of that. Luckily, my kids learned from me the value of hard work as well, and they are all chasing their dreams with enthusiasm that he approved of.

He never went to college, but as an autodidact he was as well read as any College graduate. That might be partly because his dad, a poor Italian immigrant in 1915, never learned to read or write. He compensated for that lack by reading a lot. One memory I have was playing a 4 hour game of Jeopardy with him and our friends the Roberge's in Maine. It was a donnybrook of a match. I didn't stand a chance. (But it built character).

He did decide to go to college in his 60s to Salem State University.He certainly enjoyed the attention of the coeds and that might have been what attributed to his good attendance record. This lead him to teaching ESL classes in Melrose, and he thoroughly enjoyed teaching those kids.

One of the funnier outcomes from being a college student was his new approach to swearing.When an expletive was needed, he no longer used the common "f***" but would say "intercourse!"I like that and say it myself.

Speaking of intercourse, there are no happy endings in life, but we should be grateful for a long, interesting and loving life.