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Roger T. Hayden

December 28, 1915 — January 22, 2011

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Funeral Service

First Congregational Church

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Starts at 1:00 pm

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Roger T. Hayden

Mr. Roger Thayer Hayden, age 95, died peacefully on Saturday, January 22, 2011, at his home at the Inn at Spruce Wood in Durham, NH.

Roger was born on December 28, 1915, in Melrose, MA, to Arthur Auld Hayden and Edith Dermot Hayden. He graduated from Melrose High School in 1933. Anticipating that he would be drafted for military service, he deferred acceptance to Harvard University and enrolled at Northeastern University, where he studied radar operations.

Roger entered the U.S. Navy in 1942 during World War II. He was a radar specialist on the USS McGowan destroyer, serving as second lieutenant and third in command. For his meritorious service during the Battle of Leyte Gulf, Roger later received the Bronze Star Medal.

After the war, Roger enrolled at Harvard. A year later, intent on pursuing his career, he left Harvard to start the Hayden Mica Company with his brother, Arthur. The firm imported mica from India, a mineral that consumer-product companies use in packaging.

On August 28, 1948, Roger married Frances Davenport Hayden in Boston. Roger and Frances had met through Frances' sister, Tommie, who had met Roger at a United Services Organization event after the war. Tommie later invited Roger to a party at her family home in Brighton; she made sure that her sister would be there too. Roger and Frances were sweethearts from that day, building a partnership of love and devotion that grew stronger over their sixty years of marriage.

The couple settled in Melrose at 148 West Foster Street, in the house where Roger had been born and lived all his life. Fourteen years later they moved with their growing family to 118 Bellevue Avenue. Roger and Frances lived on Bellevue Avenue for 40 years before moving to Concord, MA, in 2002 and to Durham, NH, in 2007.

In the 1950s Roger joined the Franklin Mineral Products Company, which was owned by John Davenport, his father-in-law. Roger later became president of the company, and he and his brother Arthur ran both this enterprise and the Hayden Mica Company for over 30 years. Roger and Arthur did business by a handshake; your word was your bond. In 1980, they sold the Franklin Mineral Products Company to a customer, the Mearl Corporation. Roger worked for Mearl as a consultant until he retired in 1988.

During their time in Melrose, Roger and Frances raised their family and set deep roots in the community. Roger took pride in supporting the varied interests of his spouse, four children and eleven grandchildren, cheering them on at tennis matches, swim meets, football and baseball games, high school musicals, recitals and concerts, and church activities. He and Frances opened their home to neighborhood gatherings, after-concert parties, and family celebrations. For almost 20 winters, Roger flooded their yards on West Foster Street and Bellevue Avenue, creating a skating rink that was enjoyed by family, friends and neighbors.

Music was a key part of Roger's life. During high school he played the piano at gym classes at the YMCA, earning 30 cents a session. In his early twenties, he bought a pump organ that he would load on a truck and take with him to play at home weddings. Later, Roger would play the piano and sing every night at home and at family gatherings. Even at 95, he played the piano at the Inn at Spruce Wood, entertaining fellow residents.

Roger loved to sing. He sang in the choir for fifty years at the First Congregational Church in Melrose, where he and his family were active members. He also sang for several decades in the Amphion Club, a men's singing group in Melrose that performed several concerts each year. Upon his return from the war, Roger had taken professional singing lessons, and later he sang in The Rascals, a barber shop quartet in Melrose.

Roger also had a passion for words. As a boy he delivered The Saturday Evening Post in his Melrose neighborhood. Later he started the Hayden Publishing Company, which published 100 Hymns for Men, a book in which Roger re-pitched the hymns to suit men's voices. He read several daily newspapers, The Economist, and three or four books at a time, including those by his favorite author, John Marquand. Whenever he saw an article that others could benefit from, he cut it out and sent it along with a note. He saw education as the way to solve problems.

Growing up in the Depression, Roger would make his earnings from delivering papers and playing the piano go a long way. Whenever he would indulge in an occasional chocolate bar, he would eat one square a day, making the bar last for a week or longer.

Roger also drew much pleasure from the Wilmington Rotary Club, which he joined in the early 1950s. He played the piano for club members and enjoyed the fellowship of friends and business associates for a half-century. In his fifties, Roger began to play tennis. He and friends from town joined a local club, where Roger played regularly until he was 88.

Roger was a man of relentless optimism. Once, while in the midst of working through a business challenge, his daughter asked what he would do if the business failed. He said that everything would be okay, that he would get up the next morning and start something new. Along with that cheerful outlook was a steady calmness; Roger raised his voice only to sing.

For all of his interests, Roger enjoyed nothing more than the company of others. A curious and witty man, he liked getting to know people. Upon his passing, a woman living at Spruce Wood remarked, "Roger was such a sweet man. Now who am I going to roll my R's with?" Said another, "Roger made everyone feel special."

Roger is predeceased by Frances, 2008. He is survived by daughter Anne Hayden and her husband Ivan Burns of Concord, MA; daughter Edith (Dee) H. Mitchell of Dover, NH; son Roger T. Hayden, Jr. and his wife Linda of Dover, NH; daughter Laurie H. Summers and her husband William of Basking Ridge, NJ; eleven grandchildren, Laurie Burns, Menlo Park, CA; Caroline Burns, Norwich, VT; Abigail Burns, Raleigh, NC; Matt Mitchell, Seattle, WA; Sarah Mitchell, Montpelier, VT; Emily Mitchell, New York, NY; Ryan Hayden, Dover, NH; Sean Hayden, Dover, NH; Katherine Summers, Basking Ridge, NJ; John Summers, Basking Ridge, NJ; Caroline Summers, Basking Ridge, NJ; two nephews; Arthur Hayden of Reading, MA; and Ronald Hayden of Surfside Beach, SC; and many friends from around the world.

A Memorial Service to celebrate Roger's life will be held at the First Congregational Church, 121 West Foster St, Melrose MA, at 1 p.m. on Saturday February 5. A reception will follow the service. The interment at Mt. Auburn Cemetery will be private.Donations in memory of Roger can be made to the Melrose Public Library, 69 West Emerson St., Melrose, MA 02176, or to the Melrose First Congregational Church, 121 West Foster St., Melrose, MA 02176. The family requests that flowers not be sent to the service.

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